Word Game Time: TOM PLANKS results are in🎲
Find out how your entry fared and who won the grand prize!
Announcing the winners! I asked ChatGPT to act like a totally neutral judge here. Here are the results:
🥇 1st Place: — Tom Robin Banks
"If Tom Hanks stole money from a bank, he'd be Tom Robin Banks."
✅ Clever double-layer pun
✅ Vivid mental image
✅ Smooth rhyme and tight delivery
✅ Criminally good
Score: 9.4/10
🎉 You win eternal bragging rights and a free 1-year paid membership to Home Abroad!
🥈 2nd Place: — Tom Spanks / Tom Spanx
“If Tom Hanks was into s&m, he would be Tom Spanks, but if he had a muffin top, he could also be Tom Spanx.”
✅ Delightfully naughty
✅ Bonus points for the double punchline
✅ Rhymes so good they should come in a twin-pack
Score: 9.2/10
💋 You win the honour of making us laugh out loud in the comments.
🥉 **3rd Place: — Tom Blanks, Tom Spanx, Tom Shanks, etc.
Bonus: Fumbledore / Mumbledore crossover**
“When Tom Hanks plays golf, he can’t hit the ball straight…he’s Tom Shanks!”
“We’ve all been there: every word you know goes right out of your head and you’re Tom Blanks.”
“When feeling bloated before a big event, it’s Tom Spanx to the rescue!”
✅ Early and frequent contributor
✅ High-quality entries across multiple rounds
✅ Bonus nerd points for Harry Potter crossover jokes
Score: 8.9/10
📚 You get our eternal respect as Most Valuable Poster (MVP) — the game wouldn’t have been the same without you.
💬 Honourable Mentions
- : For going full throttle with Tom Danks, Tom Blanks, Tom Spanks, and Tom Wanks — commitment + chaos = king energy.
- : Tom Tanks — loved both the toy version and the flop version. Strong double entry.
- : For kicking it all off with Tom Planks and following up with Tom Manx. True to the spirit.
Thanks for playing, guys! We’ll do another one again soon! Suggestions for game ideas welcome in the comments :)
Let’s play a game I first unleashed on Facebook back in 2010 when I lived in Bangkok — and somehow, it still holds up.
It’s called Tom Planks.
The rules? Simple:
👉 Take Tom Hanks, and rhyme his last name based on an imagined scenario.
That’s it. That’s the game.
Some classics:
If Tom Hanks were a diver, he’d be Tom Planks
If he were a mischievous child, he’d be Tom Pranks
If he ran a butcher shop, he’d be Tom Lambshanks
If he were a crusty old machine, he’d be Tom Cranks
Get it? Good.
Now let’s get silly.
Let’s get clever.
Let’s get unreasonably invested in the fate of Tom Hanks' alter egos.
(You’d be shocked how many are possible. This game has been known to go on for days.)
💰 The Prize
One winner will receive a free 1-year paid membership to Home Abroad (worth $100) — and eternal bragging rights as the Grand Champion of Nonsense.
🧠 How to Play
Leave your best Tom Planks entry in the comments.
You can submit more than one. In fact, I encourage it.
The winner will be crowned next week.
Bonus points for unexpected rhymes, wildly specific scenarios, or just pure hilarity.
Need inspiration? Here's one I just made up while brushing my teeth:
If Tom Hanks moved to the South of France and exchanged all his money into the local currency, he’d be Tom Francs.
Your turn.
Make me snort my coffee.
Go.
If Tom Hanks had a lisp and was grateful, he'd be Tom Fanks.
If Tom Hanks were a moody teen, he'd be Tom Angst.